Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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