I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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