That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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