I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
