Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Randomize