At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
