yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize