One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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