hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
