Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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