My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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