I hate your face
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
