Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
