at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
