How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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