Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
