Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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