piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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