Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
