I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
