"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
