I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
