I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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