big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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