highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.