It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
