just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
