You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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