That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What drink are we having for lunch?
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I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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