Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
