I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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