Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
