Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
