my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize