I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
