Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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