I am puke
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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