that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize