The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
