You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
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New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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