After last night, I could never be a politician.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
