Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
