The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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