apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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