In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
