oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
