Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
