i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
