Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
