we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
