You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
