census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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