if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
