I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
