spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
