Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
