How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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